So let’s say, for argument’s sake, you’re the type of LA theatergoer who loves all facets of the performance experience. Let’s also say that on the fine spring evening of Monday May 17, you find yourself at the corner of La Brea & Pico. You’ve already turned in your cart full of bottles and cans and spent the cash on down-market hookers and yet you’re still thirsting for a couple of hours of laughs and cheap titillation. Well, my fellow traveler, your internal GPS has not let you down. Just three short rat-infested blocks west of your location, if you’re lucky enough to score a seat, you can be part of the event known as “Rant ‘n’ Rave.”

Allegedly named after the favorite activity of the local neighborhood denizens, “Rant” has metastasized from Rogue Machine Theatre Company’s angst and booze-fuelled in-house airing of desperate original prose to what CultureSpotLA termed: “Proof that LA fosters dazzling wits – original, enrapturing and deeply relatable.” Now, while you might disagree with the methodology of ascribing the word “proof,” I think we can all agree that regular cheering standing ovations from a crowd of souls shoe-horned into a waiver theatre space on a Monday night at least constitutes “prima face evidence.”

This coming Monday at 8 pm, in the year of our Lord 2010, will bring Rant ‘n’ Rave’s 11th Episode with eight talented writers each presenting 1500 words on the prompt: “Technology.”

Since 2008 Producers John Pollono and Roxanne Hart have presented 10 episodes of Rant ‘n’ Rave, each centered on a particular theme. Past topics have included “Money,” “Faith,” “Love” and my personal favorite “Secrets.” Contributors, no longer just chosen from the nepotistic and incestuous ranks of Rogue Machine, are vetted then given a couple of weeks to collect and polish their thoughts. The result? A veritable upturned emotional smorgasbord of the Human Experience.  Think: “Jackson Pollock but with drips of raw Muscle Memory.” Got that? Good, now I have to go somewhere and throw up.

Speaking of vomit, I’ve been emceeing these puppies from the first and can personally attest to the staggering increase in quality. And not just in the emceeing. Attendance figures have blossomed to the point performers are now doing their thing “in the round” and we may soon be requiring potential audience members to bring their own chairs. Also, A-Listers have started showing up unannounced and we’ve often had to tell the annoying little nobodies in the audience to either sit on the A-Listers’ laps or leave and come back another night.

And by the way don’t whine about the price of admission. It’s a fundraising event for Rogue Machine’s third season because even a theatre company voted one of LA’s TEN BEST OF THE DECADE after only two seasons needs the CASH. It’s $15, about the price of an average Appletini, or a measly $10 if you can produce an overdue utility bill, note from your parole officer or fold-out chair. Given the fact we sell out every show, we should be three-deep in sidewalk scalpers.

If you make reservations and manage to make it through the front door, you can forget your troubles with a nice affordably-priced glass of wine or imported beer, or preferably both. The added funds will swell our coffers, the writing will seem even better and it will keep some of the booze out of the trembling hands of the performers and your emcee.

Rant ‘n’ Rave, Chapter 11: Technology, presented by Rogue Machine @TheatreTheater, 5041 W. Pico Blvd., LA 90019; Mon., May 17 at 8 pm. Donations: $15-$10 Reservations recommended at 323.930.0747 or roguemachinetheatre.com.